As the summer holidays draw to a close, the return to school can bring about a range of emotions for both children and parents. Whether your family loves the freedom of summer, struggles with the juggle of holiday clubs and childcare, or is simply ready for the return to routine, September signals a time of change—something that can be both exciting and daunting.
The Challenges of Back to School
For many children, the start of a new school year comes with a mix of anticipation and anxiety. Even those who are eager to return to their classmates may feel a twinge of nervousness. Whether your child is transitioning to a new school, facing a different class, or simply readjusting after the summer break, the change can trigger a natural sense of uncertainty.
Change, as we know, is inherently scary. Our brains are wired to be wary of the unknown, keeping us on high alert. This is especially true for children, who may perceive even small changes as significant challenges.
Checking in with Your Child
It’s important to gauge how your child feels about returning to school. Regular check-ins can validate their emotions and give them a safe space to express their concerns. Encourage them to share their thoughts without immediately jumping to solutions—sometimes, simply listening can be incredibly reassuring.
For some children, anxiety may have been simmering throughout the summer, with the return to school looming ever closer. For others, there might be specific concerns, such as a new teacher, missing a close friend in their class, or adjusting to a different routine. On the flip side, some children may just feel disappointed that their summer fun is ending, making the return to school seem less appealing.
Understanding the Neuroscience of Anxiety
Understanding a bit of neuroscience can help manage back-to-school anxiety. The feelings of excitement and anxiety are often similar, with both triggering butterflies in the stomach. When anxious, the brain goes on high alert, often focusing on potential negatives and generating worst-case scenarios. This is due to the brain’s fight or flight response, which can make small worries seem as threatening as a polar bear attack.
Anxiety causes the intellectual mind—the part responsible for reason and logic—to shut down, making it harder for children to see things rationally. Instead, they might obsess over their fears, imagining negative outcomes that feel all too real.
How to Help Your Child
Here are some strategies to help your child build confidence and embrace the new school year with optimism:
- Focus on the Positives: Encourage your child to talk about what they’re looking forward to. This shifts their focus to the positive aspects of returning to school and engages the prefrontal cortex, which helps them feel calm and make rational decisions.
- Prepare Early: Start planning for the school year early. Choose favourite stationery, pack lunch ideas, and other small but positive preparations to help your child look forward to the new term.
- Reconnect with Friends: Organise meet-ups with school friends before term starts. This can ease any anxiety about friendships and provide reassurance in a relaxed environment.
- Re-establish Routine: Begin transitioning back to a school-friendly routine, including meals and bedtime. Adequate sleep and a regular routine can greatly influence your child’s mood and readiness for school.
- Keep the Fun Going: Plan enjoyable activities for the final days of the holidays. Keeping your child engaged in fun experiences can prevent them from overthinking the return to school.
- Visualise Success: If your child is particularly anxious, consider a practice return to school or talk through what their first day will look like. Visualising a positive experience can help reduce anxiety.
Parent Check-In
As parents, it’s crucial to manage your own feelings about the return to school. Your child picks up on your emotions, and your behaviour can significantly influence their own. Stay positive, avoid discussing your worries in front of them, and model the optimistic attitude you want them to adopt.
Remember, social media can also impact your child’s feelings about school. Unlike in the past, today’s children are rarely disconnected from their peers during the holidays, which can sometimes add to their anxiety about returning to school.
Whether your child is feeling anxious or just a bit blue about going back to school, opening up the conversation now can make the transition smoother. And if the school year ahead feels daunting, remind yourself that you’ve got this—together, you and your child can tackle whatever comes next.
If your child is experiencing significant anxiety or is struggling with school refusal, you can find more help and advice at Young Minds or reach out to a therapist at The Youth Fairy.
